Life in Obese City

Heading towards failure

2006-06-09T17:26:00.000+08:00

- W A R N I N G -
*whining mode on*
It's not working as I'd like it to.
On one hand, I've really upped my water intake.
Damn, I din't notice how lacking of H2O I was...
but drinking more than usual gets me bloated and other times,
I stay up late just to finish the god damn ratio.
That in turn, affected my next day's work.
And so the rookie crumbles...
I get sluggish and I feel bloated all the time...
Plus, the whole working against time fer the past 2 weeks....
bla bla bla..
- whining mode off -

I've not been commiting to my everday healthy lifestyle.
Just this week alone I've only managed a 40 lap swim. (today)

And just when I thought I was making great progress...

bah ham bug!

Another pressing issue is how I have not lost any weight. Of course this is not surprising for the primary focus is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. (which I failed anyway)

From now on, I will watch my diet and note down the pitfalls of my eating habits.
Just last night I had a chocolate fondue even though I just ate dinner.
Try as I may I couldn't resist! Why is that so?

-> back to the basic <-

I, make a solemn pact to self to have a more Active life.
I will partake in at least 45mins of 'moving'. I cannot miss a day.
There is NO such thing as MAKING UP for the 45mins Another day.
No day but today.

Good Thursday

2006-05-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

Contrary to the positive title, the past week’s been bad.

nah,,, I won’t kick myself too badly coz history has taught, THE FIRST WEEK is the hardest!

True, true!

So I Tried to keep up the exercise daily regime bit but I failed.
Not too bad though, it’s been on alternative days instead.
It’s a temporary phase. I’m sure of it.

Tonight I came off the pitch, D R E N C H E D!
It seems playing Basketball is much better than Touch Rugby trainings. hmm... Definitely making it a permanent Thursday activity.

I’m raring to keep up the good work.
Am gonna go for 40 laps tomorrow. (swimming)

* gulp * – no promises but I’ll try...

UNFORTUNATELY,

in last week,

* confession *

I DRANK 1 glass of 100Plus Isotonic Drink!
And the thing was, I was drinking UNCONSCIOUSLY!

I swear!

I know you’re probably asking yourself how anyone can “unconsciously” drink so here’s what happened.

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass.
I didn’t pay attention to the obvious 100Plus logo.
I must’ve been tired.
I didn’t pay attention to the sizzling pop sound as I poured.
Did I mention I was tired?
I sat at my puter and read KYRA’s blog.
I drank the whole cup and went,”Hmm.. That’s a nice drink.”
And then, it hit me.

A whole glass downed in total oblivion!

- grrrrrrrrhmph -

Since that fiasco, I have not touched ANY carbonated water!

My friends wickedly teased and taunted me with the devil water (read as Coke). Nay said I, and stood firm in my pact. Consciously.

I did good, right?

As for the water commitment,

I’ve noticed that my visits to the little girl’s room are more frequent. What used to be only once or twice a day, is now once every 3-4 hours.

Damn, I feel like my Nana! It’s like when I got to go - I GOT TO GO!

On the bright side, I had difficulty reaching my water ratio but now,

I'm breaking the habit!

21 days holds true

2006-05-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

It is true - 21 days does a habit make.

I thought I'd be jumping for joy but somehow...

After the first 2 weeks, you kinda get the hang of it.
Now, it's just one of them things you do.

Touch Rugby trainings, Swim, walk, jog, Touch training again or take part in other activity. (Dancing classes commence in 2 weeks)

Now, 30mins of daily sweat is a possible mission even in a time-harassed lifestyle like mine.

How about an 1hr? hmm... Maybe ambitious methinks.
That's some scary thought but 45mins sounds good to me.

So here comes another 21day habit-making pact.

I, the undersign,
do hereby solemly swear,
to take part in an active sweat,
of at least 45 minutes daily,
Without coke (my all time fav),
and 1.5l daily intake of water.
Plain ol good water.

No excuse for not bringing extra bottles at training.
Worst case scenario, please drink off the public water cooler.
(Don't be paranoid - so many others have done so and They didn't collapse on the spot with any of your imagined viral infections)

If you must reach for some sugary drink, order fruit juice or iced tea.

21 days begins: 17 May 2006.

Increased Stamina

2006-05-10T05:47:00.000+08:00

On Monday I attended a Touch Footy training. Mind you, I have been absent for some time and was rather worried about my field performance.

2 hours later, I walked out with head held high.

One of ma teammates quipped,"Wow, your stamina has improved, girl"

Yes, I wasn't panting my ass off!

Then on Tuesday I swam for 10xlaps. Ouh my muscles are all sore now...

How many days has it been?

At this point, I realise that it is rather easy to upkeep this habit of being active fer at least 30mins daily.

It's more difficult to watch yer food intake instead.

In the past 2 days, I had a can of coke, a whole packet of m&m, heavy duty rice for breakfast & lunch amongst others!

I wonder how Sister Scorpion or Woolfgirl does it.

I'm still here

2006-05-04T11:51:00.000+08:00

It has been 9 days on this 21-day journey.

And I haven't given up!

If at first the idea of getting active was troublesome, now it's a breeze and on some nights, I actually look forward to it.

So, I've been walking, dancing, swimming for the past 9 days.

Whoopla!

Day 4

2006-04-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

It was a warm windless night. I had my 3kg travelmate slung across me, my briefcase in one hand and my blazer in another.

I had just finished my last meeting of the day and I stood firm to my ground, thinking but couldn't. My brains are fried. I dialled help instead.

Friend: Hello?

Me: (dispense with formality) I am so friggin tired. My day started as early as 8am and I've only just finished my last meeting.

Friend: (not realising the impact her words)That late? It's 11.30pm hun - Go home!

Me: That's the problem. I haven't done my half hr of active-ness yet. (hoping for encouragement) Should I walk?

Friend: Where are you?

Me: Point A.

Friend: You nuts? That'll be an hour's worth. Go home and rest up.

Me: What about my pact?

Friend: There's always tomorrow!!!

and there it was. The magic word.

Tomorrow.

That got me walking. Because I said it before and I'll say it again.

"There's no such thing as tomorrow."

I was drenched half hour later but No regrets!

Walk on by

2006-04-26T17:01:00.000+08:00

Day 2: Walking

Reaching point B and my commitment of 30mins of walking, I found myself wondering if I should make that extra mile - To walk all the way home. That'll be another half hour worth's of journey.

Then my mind wandered to 'X' and my legs pushed forth.

Like a highschool girl with a silly crush, there was a grin plastered across my face. This surprised me.

What about the ideal that we should do this for fitness or for our self.

(even tho that never worked before)

But when I reached home an hour later, I was happy for the motivation. Albeit external.

What do you guys think?

Gotta get back on

2006-04-25T08:17:00.000+08:00

"If at first, you don't succeed. Catch'cha self up & try again."
~aaliyah

Ok, we're trying again... Here, when I say we, I mean me & my fatself!

Am happy to report that I started the journey Yesterday.

I didn't update earlier with my intentions coz I'm one of those over-cautious being who's afraid her weak self will bend and she might not do what she said she will...

What will the point of blogging be then?

For me, this blog is more like a self promise.

Say it. (I actually mouth the words while typing)
Type it.
Mean it.

So yeh, a big WHOOPLA!

Day 1: 30 mins of Swimming.

Shoutouts to Aisha - Thank you for a 'happy' ending. Something for me to work towards.

And Mia, thanks for the reminder - I needed someone to kick my butt!
(Hope ya didn't hurt yerself tho... hee)

Barb (woolfgirl) thanks giving me an opportunity to rant on your blog.
It's a great reminder to me own self!

Okay peeps, am going out for a walk.

~Making a comeback~

Mens

2006-04-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

I've got the worst cramps ever, urgh!

It stopped my progress coz I was moody, tired and hurtin.

Damn.

I mean, I was so hyped up after everyone's advice and support,,,

*kicks meself*

,,, am very very upset with self!

One thing tho, I noticed that I've refrained from drinking carbonated drinks since I was rather mindful of my input.... Now, it's all wasted and I only lasted a week!

Day 02, Day 03, Day 04

2006-04-15T10:06:00.000+08:00

Day 2 - Swimming again and I did 6 laps! Maybe it was because I was bored and didn't want to go home so early! I even walked back home! Talk about commitment, eh...

Day 3 - Went out dancing but didn't really break a sweat coz not much jumping done. Note to self: wear sneakers at next clubbing event!

Day 4 - Power Walk.
Something happenned when I plugged into my mp3. I became the idiot who cha-cha/jogs instead. I did a 30 minute routine - Not a minute more coz I was running off for a Friday Nite Extravaganza. (Who wasn't?!)

To my surprise, I actually liked it. Well, the last bit, at least.

On my return loop, I had to come down this sloping path and with the mp3 still blastin, I HOPPED and SKIPPED! The speed was wild coz gravity helped pull me along!

*weeeeee....

Imagine this grown woman boucing up and down the path - sheesh - utter embarassment!

I need to control this child in me!

The path is approximately 100metres short (any longer and I might not be able to continue the hop) but that was enough to make me sweat and I was happy to go home a little drench on my back.

Day 5 - Perhaps a half hour stretch? Wait - Does that count as 'moving'? hmmm...

On the food front: I finally managed to grab a couple cans of baked beans. I'm thinking english breakfast complete with toast and scramble. Maybe sausages as well. Yummy!

Back with a Vengeance

2006-04-12T20:23:00.000+08:00

Ok, I want my empowered self back. In the past weekend I've witnessed a great display of human tenacity and now, I'm driven.

I read through the previous post and comments and I must say, there's so much work to be done.

In one of the comments, Aisha says it takes 21 days to make or break habits. So let's try this Again!

I, make a solemn pact to self to have a more Active life.
I will partake in at least half an hour of 'moving'.
I cannot miss a day.
There is NO such thing as MAKING UP for the half hour Another day.
No day but today.

Pact signed on 11th April 2006.

So yesterday I was out swimming. (Power to me.)

Today, as I sit on my keyboard typing this, the time is already 9pm and I haven't done anything. Shd I go swimming?

But that's so boring....

Updates

2006-04-11T19:40:00.000+08:00

In those months that I've been missing - I've tried NOT to consciously think about dieting coz Life is diff enough without having the constant reminder of what you can or can't have.

Life is for living - ever heard of that?

Lemme see now...

I managed to attend Rugby training at least once a month - my proud achievement!
I went for an early morning jog once every six months.
I swim at least once a week pulling a minimal 5 laps.

So I stand at status quo of 110kgs.

This doesn't make sense. Regardless of whether I diet or not, I'm still at this status quo. Maybe I'm MEANT to be this way?

Waah ka ka ka ka hoo hoo ha ha ha ha...

Yeah, right. I'm delusional!

Rockin Weekend

2006-01-09T17:17:00.000+08:00

Last weekend I was out with my colleagues and I believe we stumbled upon Singapore's mini Woodstock joint. I stood out like a sore thumb in my too-laid back get up. It was vivacious & lively. If I wasn't a fan of rock - I suddenly became one of the fanatic head bangers! Woo hoo - ok, that was all the excersize I had for the week!

lol...

Weather is much too cold in Singapore now it's been raining and raining and raining...

Kinda reminds me of London. *brrr*

Better go get me coat, grab meself a nice cup of cocoa or whatever the vending machine can offer and find me a nice spot to just stare in space.

To those who celebrates it, "Hajj Mubarak!"

Excuses, excuses, excuses

2006-01-04T14:42:00.000+08:00

Today a friend of mine asked me to go swimming. I immediately jumped at it. Butthe gods of rain started gatherings its clouds. It didn't rain but it was cold...

Just the thot of my naked skin against the cold wind made me shiver and I backed down from the appointment.

Excuses?

Or a legit reasoning?

No excersizes but I did get out of the house. hah.

Guess who's back

2006-01-01T06:30:00.000+08:00

(Ironically, Eminem is saying his goodbye to the music scene - for real?)

So I'm back. With the new year comes new gadgets.
A brand new Acer Travelmate.
Hopefully I'll be able to blog more often now.

Where do I begin - hmm...

The obvious - I MISSED EVERYONE!

Wassup all - how ya doin (ala Joey from friends)

I wish I could proudly announce that I've lost some but...
*looks down at shuffling feet*

Hey, Things happened that caught me offguard.
Everythings more settled now or rather, I'm better equipped to handle them now.

So am picking up where I left.

Excersize for today will be to get out of the house!
harrumph!

Oh and Happy new Year to one and all!

Keep Moving

2005-11-21T08:39:00.000+08:00

Last week I had a breakdown. I was upset with myself for not moving. (Here I have to explain that I not only am a full time student but also a full time worker)

So here's what a typical weekly schedule looks like.

Sunday to Thurs - work from 11pm-7am.
(the graveyard shift)

In the day time,

Monday class from 8am-4pm
Tuesday class from 10am-5pm
Wednesday classes from 9am-1pm
Thursday classes from 10am-4pm
Friday classes from 8am-1pm

However, inspite of hectic schedule I find time to snooze a few hrs a day.

But herein lies my problem - I couldn't get active towards excersizing.

That upsets me.

Just when I am ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle, I get setbacks such as this.

But you know what, these odds will just push me harder.
(after a breakdown, of course)

I stand by my commitments.

So I headed out to the pool last Friday and swam 20 laps!
Woo hoo... I never did 20 in an hour. I usually last for 10 laps only.

Then on Saturday I played Captain's Ball.
(a local version of Netball)

And today, I've brought along my boots for rugby practice.

Here's to a more healthier me!

Good Steamboat Friday

2005-11-12T09:01:00.000+08:00

Had a lovely swim.

Don't I look relaxed now?

But sadly had to meet up for a Famliy Steamboat dinner.

And this is what landed on my plate!

Leisure Swim Club

2005-11-10T07:47:00.000+08:00

Keep fit with our Swim Team!

SWIM once or twice a week, keep FIT & earn points!

Every Wednesdays & Fridays, 5pm to 6pm

Meeting Venue: Swimming Pool

Bring Matric card for verification purposes

Accumulate your laps throughout this academic year and seize freebies.

Bronze: 200 laps receives Swim Team T-shirt
Silver: 400 laps receives Swim Team Bottle
Gold: 600 laps receives Swim Team Sports Jacket

-----------------------------------------------------

Yes, precisely the kind of motivation I needed! Finally.

And swimming in the midst of the heat here will be so refreshing.
I'll start tomorrow!

I promise.

worst

2005-11-05T17:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i gulped a large drink of coke. That'll be my last, I was determined.

Today I drank a small cup of rootbeer.

At least it's not coke?

My mom's in the hospi. I'm rushing in between there and here and there really is no time for working out or gym. I'm just too tired.

Later.

Festivity

2005-11-01T21:32:00.000+08:00

Everyone seems extra active and happy - I blame it on the festive season.

Today, the hindus celebrated Deepavali or also known as Diwali.
Festival of lights.

In a few days, all mozzies (abbreviation taken from Baraka) will celebrate Eid.

Loads of goodies, unnaturally high intake of sodas and finger licking food. (which always equate to highly unhealthy sort)

I wonder how Eid is celebrated in the states or elsewhere for that matter.

Here, we take the whole month to visit everybody and when I say everybody - I mean everybody.

The first week, we'd usually prioritise visiting the older generations beginning with the eldest grandparents.

A visit encomprises eating a meal at their place (you can't afford to offend old folks) and helping yourselves to the spread specially prepared by the host.

In 1 day, we'd be lucky visit 3 or 4 houses - 5 house visits is the ultimate!

The next week is still reserved for relatives but of "lower rank" such as aunties and uncles and cousins and such.

The third week is reserved for distant relatives and those who stay very far away (don't want them to think we forgot them) and usually associations/companies would organize an extravaganza during this week.

Finally in the last week, colleague and friends will start visiting one another...

Now, can you imagine at the same time, WE'll be receiving guests and entertaining all the above-mentioned people at our house month long!

*ighs*

I feel tired already!

ps: I didn't get to gym at all this week.

Lost Season 1

2005-10-31T09:46:00.000+08:00

Last week on Friday, I received an enrolment package from a local Polytechnic. I can't begin to explain how shocked I was because

a)Term was startin next week and most other applicants had already been informed much much earlier.

b)I lost all hopes. Went through plenty of late night hang outs with girlfriends to "drown my sorrows"

So, I called them up and the administrator said, they've been trying to get to me but to no avail.

Then it hit me! All those anonymous calls on my handphone was probably from them!

Loads on my mind now. Like how is my excersize routine affected and what excersize routine?!! At most I'll be running from class to work to class to work.

And I had bought a whole year's subscription to a gym in town! How can I make it that far even?!

Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhh....

Listening to your body

2005-10-26T18:38:00.000+08:00

Probably the best advice I've been given (thanks Ruthie) is to "listen to your body"

My first few excersize designs were pretty ambitious. I did not know my own body then but lately, I've been listening in.

This is what I discovered.
My body can only take alternate day rest and workout routine.
(Am I that fat?)

After failed attempts on Monday, I managed successfully on Tuesday.
- 30mins of continuos cardio on the bike.
- 1 hip hop class
- Upper body strength conditioning.

Rest on Wednesday.

Suddenly I find myself more alert at work.(read as I stopped sleeping at work)

However because of that, I'm getting more assigments pushed my way... *sighs*

The days have been pretty hectic and even blogging is a leisure I could least afford. (I felt so happy after Tuesday's success and had wanted to share with you guys immediately but couldn't.)

Tomorrow, I'm ready to attempt a Touch Rugby practice !

Please God, grant me running power and LESS clumsy coordination ability.

By the way,,,

2005-10-24T17:48:00.000+08:00

I tag Anna Sue, Ruthie, Phanie, Mia, Hudaz, Nikki and Tee(I know you've been tagged before but just for fun!)

ps: I went to the gym today - but methinks I probably need to rest up a few more days and let the asthma blow over...

~My mind is willing but my body resists~

I've been tagged!

2005-10-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

10 FAVORITESFavorite Color: ash gray
Favorite Food: bbq
Favorite Month: July
Favorite Song: (for now) Held (Natalie Grant)
Favorite Movie: Pride & Prejudice
Favorite Sport: Touch Rugby
Favorite Season: Rugby Season
Favorite Day Of the week: Friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Haagen Daaz Custard
Favorite Time of Day: Sun rise

9 CURRENTS
Current Mood: Sleepy/Tired
Current Taste: Coffee
Current Clothes: Laid back grey tee and soft blue jeans
Current Desktop: Picture taken from Thailand trip
Current Toenail Color: I never learnt to color my nails!
Current Time: 20:16 +0800hrs GMT
Current Surroundings: Peace settling in (after the aftermath of my niece)
Current Thoughts: Time flies so slow…

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Wang Bao lian
First Kiss: Childhood sweetheart
First Screen Name: wyldflawah
First Pet: My dad gave me a rabbit. Perhaps he felt it necessary to give me a constant companionship since he couldn’t. A few days later the rabbit died. I never had a pet since.
First Piercing: My ears, I was too young.
First Crush: can’t remember – had dozens since
First Album: Dolly Parton, Greatest Hits

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: last month @ girls nite out
Last Drink: Coffee
Last Car Ride: Cab ride to gym
Last Kiss: 5minutes ago
Last Movie Seen: Elektra
Last Phone Call: My Best Friend
Last CD Played: Is that technology before or after MP3 players?

6 HAVE YOU EVERS
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: Nope.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: broken it? Yes. Not gotten caught tho! Phew.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Nope – boring huh.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: every other full moon.
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Yes.

5 THINGS
Thing You're Wearing: My gym key
Thing You've Done Today: watched LOST
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Time ticking
Thing You Can't Live Without: My health
Thing You Do When You're Bored: Life is too short & interesting to be bored

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. On my bed
2. kitchen
3. bathroom
4. dekstop area

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
1. Tasha
2. ET
3. Sima

2 CHOICES
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Cold

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
A travelling guitarist sponsored by F&N to travel the world performing at Coca-Cola World Charity Concert. Part of the money collected covers admin fees and my salary whilst the major profits goes to the country for whichever natural disaster they face.

ps: Am I s'ppose to tag others?

Internet power

2005-10-22T09:09:00.000+08:00

Woah, it's true what they say about the internet - how powerful it is.

I mean, we're all in different country (I'm in a different continent) but as I read your comments, I felt the support!

That's uber cool! I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate it. Is it ok if I link ya?

I'm much better now after resting and am ready to start back on track.

Thanks guys.

Asthma

2005-10-20T19:22:00.000+08:00

I triggered my asthma since yesterday's workout.

This is surely a sign that I am pushing myself too hard.

Time to re-think that excersize regime.

Can't write a longer post - my heads's too heavy.

Boy, do I feel lousy.

bla.

High Low

2005-10-18T12:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, as soon as I had stepped out of the fitness center, I was sashaying down the streets. In fact, my steps had a little bounce in them and my face was brimming with zest.

Nothing - could have brought me down.

For I had met my goals.

1 x Jazz dance class
3 x 15 reps of upper muscle conditioning
2 x 30mins of cycling (continuos cardio)

Mind you, completing them was no easy feat. I almost gave up in my second 30mins of cycling but for a rescue call from my uber chatty gay friend.

The wonderful "I-can-move-mountain" feeling lasted 15 good minutes. (That’s how long it takes before my transport arrived)

I had aching muscles but still I was happy. (Somehow I have it in my head, that muscle aches are a good sign - sadistic, eh?)

Then I slept.

Today however, as I'm writing this entry and being ever aware of my biceps and triceps wailing, I am beginning to wonder if I am indeed pushing myself too hard?

The dance classes are so enjoyable – it doesn’t really FEEL like a real workout. It feels more like a... a dance class.

Perhaps, I'll just stick to the routine for at least 2 weeks and then we'll see what happens.

Heck, if I can't meet my excersize goals, then I'll do as much as I possibly can - right?

Besides, Wednesday’s schedule is a fun and relaxing day at the pool! Water always rejuvenate a Cancer like me!

ps: Am thinking of getting a weighing machine.

Excersize Regime

2005-10-15T12:39:00.000+08:00

Thanks to everyone who has supported/advised/contributed, I've finally sat down and written a 15-week excersize regime for myself!

The regime includes 5 hours of cardio (both continuos and interval) a week, an alternate 2-day strength training focus on upper and lower muscles and 5 dance classes a week!

Woo Hoo! Am so ready to commit. Yeah!

Now, I need to concentrate more on my food input.

I mean, how do I start calculating the amount of calories?
Is there a gadget I should carry with me everywhere I go?

Talking about going, I went to MTV Movie Awards last june.
Here's a link to the video advert.

I thought I looked pretty good until I saw the wave of me stubby fingers towards the end of the advert.

Arrggghhh - my stubby finger wave will haunt me forever!

First day at Gym

2005-10-11T21:20:00.000+08:00

They took my weight (a whopping 107 kilos) and they gave me a stern look but at the same time pitched a programme that includes a personal trainer. Sounds good but terribly out of my budget.

Instead, I joined a beginner's hip-hop class. It being my first time, I wanted to be inconspicuous. I was almost convinced that I was born to dance until the tumble-and-land-on-my-big-fat-self moment.

From inconspicuous to "Let's help that lady who fell. Is this your 1st time?" from the instructor.

I feigned non-chalance and gracefully picked myself up.

I think I murmured something along the lines of,"I fall all the time, so I'm used to it."

Looking at my previous post, I realize I didn't introduce myself before so here goes.

Hi all, I'm Rose A Rahim affectionately known by my family and closest as "OG".

Allow me to digress.

When Baraka called me OG, I thought she knew me but then I realised OG also stands for Obese Gal! lol...

Back to self-intro.

Well I've just been told that I need to work on my cardio mixed with strength resistance combination especially for my lower torso. My current focus should be fat loss.

Unfortunately I have no idea what a workout routine consist of.

Help?

2005-10-10T07:54:00.000+08:00

The weekend was a blast.

I was introduced to a local salsa club and I swear, it's like a mini Havana Club (here in Singapore?) - with all the sensous hip gyrating movements and loud latin music. The atmosphere was great. I could have sat all night watching but that won't be me. So I plucked my courage and asked to be taught basic steps.

That's when I learnt, that to dance salsa, you need to be at least 40 kilos less than me so that you can spin around and around and around...

When other gals take 4 counts to make 1 turn, I take... erm, far too long...

Luckily, my partner was just too nice to say anything about it.

So I took up a Fitness membership in hope to be the next Jessica Alba.

Am heading off to the gym now...

The Complete Idiot's Guide To Fitness

2005-10-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

Why start now?

Well, I am 28 and I still haven't been fucked. That's because I'm so fat it would be considered bestiality to fuck me. (Herein, I shall call myself a whale so that you get a vivid idea)

Besides, all the slim girls get guys so easily - I feel that I should probably get my fair share of the market too!

Not that there's anything wrong with slim girls. They are a great motivation to me.

No, I'm not a dyke although I did think I was once but now, I highly suspect that I have lesbian tendency but that could be because my circle of support are mostly great gal pals.

Well there is this one guy - for easier reference, we'll call him Freddie.

Not only is he years younger than me, he is also in the I'm-not-sure-if-I’m-gay category and worst still, he's bulimic-ly thin.

Freddie looks like Rhys Ifans - that dude in NottingHill who played Hugh Grant's eccentric flatmate.

Talking about NottingHill, why does the entire world think it's okay for a gal as georgeous as Julia Roberts to be pursued by a scruffy pale englishman like Hugh Grant (as per the movie characters).

I mean, what if I filmed a movie about a woman like Camryn Manheim (from the Practice) with all of her charming wits trying to win the heart of a hunk, Brad Pitt. I mean, this movie would be a flop due to no fault of the actors and their outstanding performances (in case if Brad or Camryn reads this) but it's just this world that we live in.

Men simply have that added advantage on top of having a callous heart, No vagina hymen nor menstrual pains (although they can still be a bitch sometimes)

Now, if I were to mix up the cast and have Camryn star opposite of Rhys, there might be salvage. For opposites attract and somehow the "imperfectness" of both characters would make them compatibly suitable. And I could probably market this film as a romantic comedy and base it loosely on my crush on Freddie.

Currently I'm trying my utmost to make myself belief that Freddie is an unreliable friend and it almost worked until we recently met (after a month's of absence) at Amy's birthday bash. Somehow there is still an intangible bond between the two of us that we naturally search out for each other's company.

We're like partners in cahoots - so what if he refers to me as 'Sister' sometimes?

This is how my heart breaks

Well, I am now resolved to blot out such thoughts between me and Freddie. We shall remain friends if that's what is destined for us.

Oh, hogwash - I don't really believe in destiny but at this point there isn't much that I can do about it, is there.

However, there is something I want to do to empower myself.
(and hopefully, my love life)

My first goal: Finish reading the dummies guide.